I Like You
by MrJamesileee
Summary: During 1x09, missing scene. Kate's thoughts and feelings regarding Anya's admission. Vulnerability and insecurity battling desire to be happy. May not be a one-shot?
1. Chapter 1

_Here we go again. Just another headcanon of sorts, internal thoughts/fears/feelings of Kate Littlejohn. I always want to know what's going on in that brilliant head of hers, so I make it up. Let me know if you like it. I'm still trying to build this fandom._

 _"I like you."_

Those words, so simple, were not words that were new to Kate. She'd heard them before. She'd believed them. But never had they made the impact that they did when coming from Anya's lips.

She didn't make known the way her heart sped up, the way her skin buzzed and her hearing muffled. Kate wasn't sure if her physiological reaction was from reciprocation or fear.

Or both.

Rolling away, hiding herself and her heart was Kate's instinct. There seemed to be no truly appropriate response to the pure honesty pouring from Anya in that moment. Up until that point, it had been fun. A few carefree dates, a good bit of pretty amazing sex. Casual. Relaxed.

Sure, Kate had noticed her demeanor lightening in the brief time that she had spent with Anya. She found herself feeling freer, easier to smile, harder to annoy.

It could have been a coincidence.

It could have been said amazing sex.

Kate wasn't ready to admit that the reason for her recent peacefulness was actually the _woman_ , not the circumstances.

She certainly wasn't ready to admit it to Anya.

The agent's patience with her had always been one of the things that Kate appreciated most about the woman. It couldn't have been easy to be with a person as regimented and structured as Kate, even if casually. Most people wouldn't have wasted their time. The first time that they had to return to Kate's apartment (or office) to make sure the door was locked for the fourth time would have been enough to scare most people away.

Not Anya.

She took it all in stride, even seemingly appreciating the quirks that made Kate Kate. And now she had said as much. Aloud.

Kate decided that this overwhelming feeling surrounding her was sheer panic. Nothing more, nothing less. So she withdrew. She covered her feelings and refrained from saying the simple words back, even though she knew them to be true. Even that wasn't enough to scare Anya away.

Anya knew exactly when to push Kate and exactly when not to. Initially Kate had found that irritating, anxiety inducing. She didn't like change and she _hated_ not being in control of any given situation. When she wanted a conversation to end, it ended. That was no longer the case now that Anya was involved.

 _"Too much? Too soon?"_

The terrified, closed off part of Kate wanted to scream 'YES!', effectively ending the conversation and going back to the homeostasis of solitude.

The bold, adventurous and ever-evolving part of Kate wanted to scream 'NO!' and kiss Anya senseless.

So she did neither. She dodged. She put the conversation off for another day, letting Anya know that even though she wasn't ready, she really didn't want to lose her either. Anya understood these things about Kate without having to be told directly. She always had.

Anya let it go, kissing Kate once again, leaving her breathless and wordlessly telling her that it was okay.

Okay to be scared.

Okay to not be ready quite yet.

The Kate Littlejohn of three weeks ago would have had an anxiety attack if someone threw her alarm clock across the room. She would have kicked them out of her bed, out of her life, without hesitation. Something about Anya had changed that. The feeling that she had with Anya, the way her skin burned everywhere the woman touched, the way her stomach tensed and her mind relaxed was worth more than her need for control.

It wasn't just about the sex.

Kate tried to convince herself that it was, a hopeful rejection of the emotional upheaval that she was experiencing. She had an attraction to Anya immediately upon meeting her and everything would have been much less complicated had it only been lust between them. But Kate had never been a very sexual person. She hadn't had many partners and tended to reserve sexual activity for when she really cared about someone.

Kate Littlejohn was didn't do one-night stands.

She was an intelligent, independent woman and she did not rely on sex as a necessary aspect of her life. That made it incredibly difficult to pass off what she and Anya had as simply lust.

 _"What were you doing?"_

Kate wasn't surprised by the men's overreaction to her being 'late' but she didn't feel the need to answer for it either.

 _"Enjoying my morning, which thanks to you two I'm not doing anymore."_

She could still feel Anya's warm mouth on her skin, her breath ghosting over the hollow of her throat, the weight of the woman on her.

Yep. Enjoying her morning.

Kate realised that she had smiled, alone in her office, well into the day. She should have been focused on the case, on the box-loads of files that she was going through, but images of Anya kept popping into her mind uninvited.

 _"I like you."_

The words were on repeat in her head, slipping back into her memory each time she had finally fully concentrated on the task at hand. The panic was beginning to set in. This time, it wasn't the panic of fear about feeling the same way, of letting someone in and exposing her heart. This time, it was fear of pushing Anya away, of allowing her to think, even for a moment, that her feelings weren't reciprocated.

Terrified as she was, she was more afraid of losing her.

Kate looked around her empty office nervously before pulling her cell phone out of her pocket, chancing a glance at the screen before scanning the room once more. She did not use her phone at work unless it was _for_ work, as a rule. She would not succumb to dependence on the technological world.

No alerts. No missed calls or texts.

Kate shouldn't have been surprised. She and Anya didn't talk while they were at work unless it was about a case, another thing that she liked about the agent. They knew when each other was busy with their job and that was okay.

Kate opened her messaging app anyway.

[How's your day?]

The characters were deleted almost as soon as they were typed. Kate would never send such a text while she knew that Anya was at work. Doing so now would only incite suspicion, inadvertently revealing her vulnerability. Perhaps she should try a more direct approach?

[I keep thinking about this morning.]

This message, too, was discarded, after Kate overanalyzed long enough to decide it may imply that she only liked Anya because of the sex.

Kate sighed, setting her phone down on her desk and resting her head on the back of her chair. Kate could take on tough cases, work her ass off for just about any cause without so much as a stress frown, but this was tough.

Kate closed her eyes and allowed herself to truly consider what she was feeling, what she wanted: She wished that she could be with Anya right in that moment. She liked waking up with her, too, and wished for it to happen much more often. She smiled, imagining Anya's warm arms wrapped around her waist, her hair tickling her shoulders, the woman's scent permeating her senses. That's what she wanted. Just Anya.

[Can I see you tonight?]

This time, the message was sent without hesitation. Anything that Kate needed to express would be better communicated in person, even if she feared her nerves would get the best of her. There were no simple words that could be typed to actually say what she wanted, and Anya deserved as much honesty as Kate could muster.

[Yes, please.]

Anya's reply was short, sweet and arrived quickly. Exactly what Kate needed. It eased the tension that she had felt in her brow, in her shoulders. It lightened her heart and her mind, as Anya seemed to do consistently.

Kate still wasn't sure how to put into words what she was feeling for Anya, what she wanted from whatever they were but at least knew that she still had the chance to figure it out. Right now, that was enough.


	2. Chapter 2

_I'm just going to roll with this and hope for the best when it comes to the actual show. I hope the few other Kate x Anya fans enjoy._

* * *

 _"I told you, you're a catch."_

Sometimes Kate wanted to punch Leonard square in his smug face. Little things he said and did, Kate knew well enough to know were NOT without reason. His tone, his semantics, even the raise of his eyebrows was intentional. To get a point across to achieve something for himself. Sometimes Kate admired that about Leonard; sometimes she hated it.

* * *

Maybe Kate had glanced at her phone a few too many times to be socially acceptable as she sat at the bar with Seth, Leonard and Roger. She hadn't even noticed. Seth certainly had.

"Are you texting your _girlfriend?_ " he practically sang, moving his shoulders back and forth happily.

"Girlfriend?" She heard Roger pipe up from behind Leonard, who avoided the conversation _very_ evidently.

"Is this like a pervy guy thing? Why are you all so interested? Just because it's two women?" Kate asked with the normal work-day bite in her voice, catching Roger off guard. "And she's NOT my girlfriend!"

"Who isn't her girlfriend?" he asked Seth quietly, as though Kate was not sitting right in front of them.

"Anya. From ATF." Seth told him happily.

In his defense, Seth sincerely wasn't interested because he was a perverted male. Sure, the idea of two females together was hot, but that wasn't why he was interested. Despite their banter and Kate's distance (from nearly everyone), they had developed a friendship that Seth truly valued. He had watched Kate's demeanor change so easily for the better in recent weeks, only today finding out why. He wanted his 'friend' to be happy, and lately she really seemed to be.

Kate cold-stared at the men, not bothering to verbally express her disgust with the fact that the conversation was still taking place. She was irritated with Leonard for telling her he was happy for her, only to sulk like a child. She had not had nearly enough to drink to feel like dealing with them right now.

The text-tone chime pulled her from her frustration and she flipped her phone over quickly.

[Finally done. I'm sorry it's later than I thought. Do you still want to meet up?]

Kate nearly scoffed aloud at the question.

She wanted to see Anya more than ever. They both had the day off tomorrow and despite the fact that Kate would still set three alarms, they would finally get to have uninterrupted time. Kate contemplated how to answer the text. She didn't want to sound too enthusiastic. She didn't want to sound too indifferent. Why was communication such a struggle?

" _Now_ you're talking to your girlfriend…" Seth said with a grin, bumping Kate's shoulder affectionately.

"She's NOT my girlfriend!"

"Why?" Seth asked calmly, as though Kate had not just snapped at him.

"'Why?' Why what?" Kate shook her head, looking back to her phone.

"Why isn't she your girlfriend?" his sincerity was adorable in a really annoying kind of way.

 _crickets_

Kate didn't know how to answer that question. It was not something she had ever anticipated being asked. Leave it to Seth.

"I—" she looked around subtly, finishing her drink. "We're just not there yet," she told him, because it made sense and it wasn't exactly untrue.

"I get that," he nodded. "You obviously like her, though."

"Oh, lord. I'm gonna need another drink," she rubbed her eyes hard but did fight back a chuckle at the thought of herself in this scenario.

"So, Anya? The ATF girl? Is that why you wanted to do the sting?" Roger asked, also seeming genuinely interested.

Kate rolled her eyes hard before another text-tone caught her ear.

[If it's too late I understand.]

Shit. She had been so busy over-thinking how to respond that she hadn't responded at all.

[No! Not too late. I'm at the bar with the guys from work and the conversation just became uncomfortably interesting. I definitely still want to see you.]

So much for trying not to sound overly enthusiastic.

[Okay. Give me a call when you're done.]

Kate could almost hear the smile in Anya's text. It made her smile, too. She didn't want to wait to see Anya. She looked next to her at the bar, at people who could almost be considered her 'friends', and made a bold, un-Kate-like decision.

[Why don't you meet us here?]

Kate's eyes widened at the brashness of her own question. Her heart began to race and she felt her palm begin to sweat around the condensation of the glass in her hand. She wanted to see Anya and she was kind of almost enjoying her time with her colleagues and she had made a split-second decision. And now it was too late to take it back.

[Are you sure?] Anya asked, knowing Kate all-too well despite their short time together. She could probably sense the woman's panic from wherever she was. And Anya was kind enough to ask for reassurance. That only made Kate more certain.

[I am. We don't have to stay out long. I just didn't want to wait.] Kate replied, proud of her own honesty. The remainder of the last sentence ('to see you') would stay unspoken for now.

* * *

It only took twenty minutes (and another drink) for Anya to arrive at the bar. Twenty minutes of panic distracted by questions and conversation. When she walked in, Kate's heart fluttered in spite of herself. Seth lit up at Kate's openness. Leonard acted like he didn't even see her.

"Ohhhhh!" Roger said in the tone of 'duh.' "Anya from the ATF!"

The pieces fell together and he raised his glass to the woman politely.

"I get the impression I've been discussed," Anya said playfully, standing next to Kate and resting her arm casually on the back of her chair. She didn't want to be too forward (was this a kiss hello situation? Probably not, regardless of how much she wanted it to be) but she could not manage to keep any sort of distance from Kate, either.

"Briefly," Kate shrugged stiffly, completely out of her element.

Kate was not much of a dater. She was absolutely not an invite the person you're dating to meet your work colleagues person. And yet, here they were.

"Anya Ooms from the ATF, you know Seth. Leonard Knox," she pointed and he acknowledged the woman as politely as possible, "and Roger Gunn, our boss."

"I'm not their boss tonight," Roger nodded, a few drinks in, and extended his hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too," Anya grinned, finding herself leaning against the back of Kate's chair.

"So you're why she wanted to do the sting operation?" Roger asked without hesitation, as his question had not been answered the first time.

"No, not really," Anya laughed, watching as Kate and Seth scooted their seats to make room for her. "I kind of forced her in to that one," she admitted.

"You did not," Kate argued weakly, becoming distracted as Anya picked up _her_ glass and sipped on the straw naturally. As simple as the act was, it was domestic, even intimate, to Kate.

"Does this mean we'll get to work more with ATF cases in the future? Because I certainly wouldn't be opposed to that," Roger said, flagging over the bartender to order another round.

"You were absolutely opposed to it," Kate scoffed, directing her attention to her boss in order to draw it away from Anya. "I had to convince you to let me do it."

"And I had to convince _you_ to do it," Anya reiterated, nudging Kate with her elbow and remaining in close contact instinctively.

Silently, Leonard pulled a few bills out of his wallet and set them on the bar. Kate noticed but didn't acknowledge. He stood, putting on his coat, before speaking.

"Well I'm out. You guys have a good night," he nodded, gaze lingering on Kate a moment too long before turning and walking away.

The awkwardness was palpable, even to Anya. Not one to take things personally, she let it go.

"He's still mad that you didn't tell him, isn't he?" Seth said suddenly, as though it was the most casual conversation in the world.

Kate's cheeks reddened, narrowing her eyes at him subconsciously.

"Didn't tell him what?" Anya asked, suddenly much more interested.

Kate opened her mouth to speak but Seth beat her to it.

"That you two were dating. I figured it out by accident and I was surprised he didn't know. They're closer with each other than I am with them," he said directly, sipping his drink, completely at ease.

Anya looked to Kate, who was visibly uncomfortable. She couldn't help but smirk.

"I was only discussed briefly, huh?" she asked, nudging Kate again and drawing her attention.

Anya was surprised that Kate's colleagues knew about them, accidentally or otherwise. Kate had only dodged the 'I like you' conversation that morning and they had not had a chance to discuss it any further. To find out that people Kate worked with (and generally tried to keep her distance from) knew about them was comforting.

The nearness of Anya's body and electricity was distracting Kate into a calmness that she didn't know she could muster in that moment. She did not like any spotlight on her when it came to personal matters, and now suddenly she found herself fighting the urge to wrap her arms around the woman beside her. She closed her eyes, despite feeling Anya's gaze upon her, awaiting a reaction. When her eyes opened, she was awestruck by the look of affection in Anya's.

"Briefly," Kate established with a teasing grin, reaching her hand out subtly to Anya's waist and pulling the woman against her side. The smile that she got in response was confirmation that despite her momentary discomfort, this was exactly where she wanted to be.


	3. Chapter 3

_I'm not sure how this ended up sexy but I think I'm okay with it. Let me know what you think. I'm going to continue to write for this ship even if they're sinking it._

"I just felt betrayed, you know?"

'The Story of Allison' was a real page-turner, but unfortunately not one that was new to Kate. Seth was aware of this fact, therefore directing his attention mostly to Roger. Roger, for his part, was at least _attempting_ to feign interest. Kate noted that he was a better person than she was for it.

"Are you bored? You have that look in your eye," Anya smirked, leaning against Kate's thigh now that the men seemed engrossed in their own conversation.

"Ugh. I've just heard this story before. A few times," Kate rolled her eyes as Seth gestured dramatically.

"I could tell you a story," Anya teased softly, the raspy timbre of her voice flowing through Kate like a little earthquake.

"Oh could you?" Kate asked, raising an eyebrow and pulling Anya into her by the hip.

Anya closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of Kate's touch. Kate's fingers splayed across Anya's hipbone, traveling up just enough to reach the skin of her stomach above her pant-line. Anya released a shuddering breath quietly, eyes slammed shut in an attempt to control her body's reaction to Kate's simple touch.

Watching Anya unravel was something that Kate Littlejohn would never tire of. The power that she felt by eliciting such reactions from the woman was intoxicating to her. She had never felt that way about anyone that she dated before. She had never truly _enjoyed_ anyone the way that she enjoyed Anya.

It was, at least partially, selfish. There was a bit of an ego stroking when it came to the control that she had over the woman. Their dynamic involved a power struggle in the absolute best way. Kate had never been in control before, never had any desire to. But watching Anya grip the edge of the bar, feeling her stomach muscles tense at her touch, was something that Kate could certainly get used to.

"I thought you were going to tell me a story," Kate whispered teasingly, allowing her lips to just barely brush Anya's ear as she spoke and sending another wave of desire through the woman.

"I forgot it," Anya breathed out, opening her eyes slowly and licking her lips subconsciously.

"Do you want me to remind you?"

The sexual side of Kate was something that was new to both women. Anya brought it out of her more and more the longer they were together, and she loved it. Kate continued to surprise her with her boldness. Kate found that she was also surprising herself.

"You're going to make out, aren't you?" Seth grinned, wide-eyed, breaking their bubble abruptly and causing the women to lean away from one another.

Kate reddened instantly while Anya fought the surge of anger that replaced her arousal far too quickly.

"Geez, Oliver. What a buzzkill," Roger shook his head at the younger man, seemingly disappointed in him. It eased Kate's discomfort slightly.

"I'm not into PDA, Seth. But thanks for your interest," Kate rolled her eyes, digging through her purse for her wallet after deciding it was time to go home and spend some time with Anya in private.

"Not into PDA?!" Seth scoffed. "Oh, come on. You've barely been able to keep your hands to yourself since Anya got here," he called her out good-naturedly, despite her irritation. "I was actually pretty impressed."

"I didn't ask for your opinion, Seth!" Kate said loudly, clearly embarrassed.

Anya smirked at Kate's discomfort and squeezed her knee affectionately.

"I was pretty impressed, too," Anya said, not nearly quietly enough, earning a chuckle from Seth.

"I really went out of my comfort zone by asking Anya here tonight, because I like her and I stupidly wanted you guys to know her. You are quickly making me regret it," Kate spat out, flustered.

"Don't look at me," Roger said, hands up in peace.

"Not you, Roger," Kate amended.

"I don't want you to regret it. Just the opposite. I'm glad you stepped out of your comfort zone. I'm glad that you're happy. But I joke, Kate. Whether Anya's around or not," Seth shrugged, feeling guilty for upsetting her but also not in the wrong.

"Hey," Anya said gently, drawing Kate's eyes to her own and calming her with a soft smile.

Kate smiled back, frustration and fear fading away.

"I overreacted, Seth. I'm just new to this. I'm sorry," Kate said calmly, nodding as though it was a business transaction.

"It's cool. Hey, maybe we can go on a double date sometime," he smiled like he meant it but stopped when he noticed both of the women's confused expressions.

"You mean when you inevitably get back together with Allison?" Kate asked.

"Or do you and Roger have something you want to tell us?" Anya joked.

"Why do I keep getting thrown into this?!" Roger asked, backing away from Seth instinctively.

Both women laughed and Kate felt relieved that Seth was the uncomfortable one for the moment.

"That's our cue to leave," Kate smiled, standing and stretching her back, watching Anya watch her.

"Yeah, yeah…" Seth mumbled, rolling his eyes.

"It was very nice to meet you, Roger," Anya told him, shaking his hand politely. "Seth, it was kind of nice to see you," she joked.

"You, too," he told her with a small smile. "Have a good day off!" he called after them, innuendo clear in his tone.

As they walked away, Kate's hand naturally found it's way to the small of Anya's back. PDA was not something that Kate was about but unfortunately, Seth was right; she couldn't seem to keep her hands to herself when it came to Anya. Going out of her comfort zone was something that Kate could handle in this situation.

* * *

They hadn't quite made it to the door of Kate's apartment when Anya kissed her. Holding hands on their walk had somehow turned heated, and now Kate was pressed against her door, keys in hand. It was Kate's instinct to pull the woman closer, holding her fully against the front of her body and shuddering at the fragmented breath Anya let out at the contact.

"Not in to PDA, huh?" Anya asked between kisses, taking the keys out of Kate's hand and unlocking the door behind them.

"This doesn't count," Kate whispered as she was pushed backward through the threshold of her home.

They were on the couch in seconds, Kate took a moment to decide that the fact didn't bother her as much as she thought it did. Anya was straddling her lap, dragged her teeth down her throat _just_ hard enough, and Kate panicked.

"Whoa," Kate said, wide-eyed, pulling her head back to look at the woman on top of her.

"I'm sorry. I won't leave a mark, promise," Anya told her, apologetic as usual.

"I don't care about that," Kate corrected her, running her hands up the woman's back gently. "I need to say something."

"Okay…" Anya's nervousness at the statement was palpable.

"I don't just like you for the sex. I mean, I like the sex. A lot. Maybe too much. And I know that we have a lot of it, which is certainly not a complaint on my part, but I just needed you to know that that's not why I like you," Kate told her, direct as always though not as eloquent as she hoped.

Anya smiled so freely that Kate's heart soared. She kissed Kate's cheekbone. Her jawline. Her throat. She didn't need to say anything in response. She felt pretty sure that she could get her point across without words.

"You don't care if a leave a mark, huh?" Anya asked, nipping at her neck.

"Hmm mmm," Kate told her, holding her head to her as the once-playful bites became serious. "I think I'd kind of like it."

The top three buttons of Kate's shirt were undone before Anya bit down hard enough to make Kate whimper.

"I love to hear you," Anya practically growled into Kate's ear as the rest of the buttons were undone.

"Bedroom," Kate commanded, foggy gaze traveling down Anya's body. "Now."

"No alarms tomorrow," Anya told her, standing and pulling Kate to her feet between kisses and roaming hands. "You're gonna be up late tonight."


	4. Chapter 4

_sorry if this is mildly inappropriate. i did feel the scene was necessary to move forward but you may not agree. let me know anyway, eh?_

* * *

It wasn't exactly a _bad_ decision.

Kate didn't regret it. (Especially at the time.)

But looking at the clear, defined line of teeth marks in her neck (Kate thought she could use them as dental records, if she needed to) in the harsh sunlight was jarring to her. Almost impressive. Mildly anxiety-inducing. Oddly arousing.

It frightened Kate a little, the intensity of the sensation. She'd never thought of herself as someone who would even be okay with that, let alone enjoy it. Need it. Crave it. The images that it caused to run through her mind were shocking. Rough and beautiful and downright filthy.

But still she was torn. It felt almost wrong to be experiencing the feelings and desires running through her. She needed to remind herself that just because something was new didn't mean it was bad.

In Anya's defense, it hadn't been on purpose (despite the way that Kate saying she 'might like it' flowed down her spine and sent a fiery chill to her core.) It was an accident in the heat of the moment. She hadn't realised just how hard she'd bitten until the throaty moan ripped from Kate's lips and echoed through her body. It only made her want to do it again.

"I'm sorry," Anya said softly, sitting on the edge of the bed as she watched Kate inspect the bruise for the fifth time that morning.

"I told you, I don't want you to be sorry," Kate softened, looking up from her neck to Anya's reflection, perched on the bed in her UVA tee shirt.

"But you keep looking at it and I feel bad," Anya sighed, falling back onto the bed but keeping her gaze on Kate.

"I don't think I've ever had teeth marks in my skin before," Kate told her honestly, thinking it over and deciding that those were not words she ever thought she'd say.

"And I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," Anya smiled sadly, unsure how to proceed.

"I know you didn't," Kate told her, wandering finally away from the mirror and back to the side of the bed. "I'm just surprised," she told her, sitting on the edge and resting her hand naturally on the woman's bare thigh.

"I didn't know it would make a mark like that."

Anya's sensitivity and bold vulnerability were unraveling Kate's heart in a way that she didn't know she could feel. Sure, there was still some fear of getting too close, of letting the woman in, but she couldn't help the way she melted at her openness.

"Obviously neither of us were thinking about that at the time," Kate smirked, actually allowing her mind to go back to that moment. She became immediately overwhelmed by the memory of the feelings flowing through her. How her hands grasped Anya anywhere she could touch just to hold her closer. "I liked it," she decided to admit, watching Anya's expression change subtly upon hearing the words.

"But—"

"No. No but," Kate told her, pressing a finger to her lips to stop another unnecessary apology. "I liked it."

Anya smiled, sitting up in bed and rubbing her hand across the small of Kate's back. She nuzzled Kate's shoulder for a minute before looking up into her eyes.

"I didn't mean to give you a reason to feel insecure," Anya said, eyeing the bruise closely herself for the first time. That really was something. "Good thing your work shirts button so high," she smirked, looking at the still-red bruise.

"I feel like someone could definitely still see it," Kate smiled despite herself.

"Yeah, babe I think you're probably right," Anya chuckled.

She lifted one finger tip and traced the bruise incredibly gently, feeling the depth of the mark and watching as Kate's eyes closed at the sensation. It did things to her; things that it probably should not do considering how hard she was apologizing for it a minute ago.

"So you liked it, huh?" Anya rasped out boldly, tracing the edges and making sure not to press down hard enough to cause Kate any pain.

"Yes," Kate breathed out, her grip tightening on Anya's thigh subconsciously.

Anya couldn't handle the look of arousal on Kate's face. The way her eyes closed and mouth opened, just barely, as she took it all in and tried to control her emotions. The pull in the muscles of Anya's abdomen at watching the woman was beginning to win out over her rational mind.

Before she could overthink it, Anya leaned up, running her tongue down the line of teeth marks in Kate's neck, kissing gently and only stopping when the primal sound that Kate emitted made it necessary for her to pull back to release her own gasp.

It was a good thing they had the day off.


	5. Chapter 5

_Ok, back to the actual plot, now. Trigger warning for anxiety. Nothing terrible or too graphic. This is angsty but ends well and will set up future chapters. I hate hiatus. Let me know what you think. Thank you for reading and for your support._

"I'm supposed to prosecute somebody who basically just sold a little weed?" Seth griped dramatically, pacing around Kate's office like it was the end of the world. "Not even meth!"

"No case too small, right Oliver?" Leonard smirked, rolling his eyes at the man.

"So it's okay when _you_ feel like you're above cases but not when I do?" Seth asked him, irritated.

"Because you aren't above any cases."

" _Why_ are you in my office?" Kate blurted suddenly, exasperated and done with their menial arguing.

"Because this is where we…meet," Seth shrugged, looking up at the woman as though she should already know that. "This is our meeting place."

"Well it's a big building, guys. And you each have offices of your own that look _pretty_ similar to this one, so—"

"Is that a hickey?!" Seth practically squeaked as he saw the finally fading bruise just above Kate's collar-line.

"No!" Kate yelped, reaching up to cover the side of her neck anyway.

"It is! Let me see," Seth grinned idiotically, drawing nearer and eyeing Kate's neck as closely as he could.

"A hickey?" Leonard said quietly, peeking in the general direction despite himself.

"It isn't. Shut up," Kate snapped, feeling her face grow warm and her heart rate increase with anxiety.

"Oh, it isn't?" Seth laughed, obviously not sensing Kate's panic. "Did you burn yourself with a curling iron?"

Kate stood from her desk chair and attempted to evade her teasing friend, feeling the blood pumping in her ears and her breath becoming short. She rounded her desk and suddenly Seth was too close; close enough to see the bruise clearly.

"Daaaaaamn!" he practically sang, inadvertently blocking Kate's exit as he stared at her neck, wide-eyed.

"Whoa…" Leonard agreed, also leaning nearer.

 _Thump thump, thump thump, thump thump._

Kate's vision became foggy as panic overtook her, frozen but desperate to flee. Her eyes darted between the men, to the door, and back. Her breathing was shallow and her chest was tight. She felt defenseless.

"Um… hi?" Anya asked curiously, standing in the doorway of Kate's office to find the woman's coworkers hovering abnormally near.

"Aww, Anya's here," Seth grinned cheekily. "Did you come to visit your chew toy?" he chuckled.

"Excuse me?" Anya asked, eyebrow quirked, not getting the joke.

Kate's anxiety was evident to Anya, even from across the room; Scared, wild look her in eyes. Fidgety tremble of her hands. She'd witnessed Kate having near panic attacks before and she worried that her presence was causing the onset, unaware of the situation that she had just walked in on.

"I'm consulting on a case upstairs. Just thought I'd say hi," Anya told them casually, trying to make eye contact with Kate, who clearly avoided it.

"That's sweet," Seth said sincerely, looking to Kate for a reaction but finding none.

"Well, um, I didn't mean to interrupt. I'll see ya later," Anya said, defeat showing in the slump of her shoulders.

Anya never wanted to pressure Kate or move too fast for her. She knew well enough how Kate reacted when she was cornered, either clamming up or fleeing. Showing up at her office had been a mistake, 'too much, too soon,' and she would apologise to Kate as soon as they were in private.

"Wait."

Kate's voice was so small and weak that Anya almost missed it. She turned back to the office to find Kate's sad, tear-lined eyes looking at her pleadingly. Anya walked fully into the room without another thought, causing the men to retreat.

"Stay a minute?" Kate asked shakily as the men watched in confusion.

"Get out."

Anya's words were quiet but firm. The men exited the office and shut the door behind them.

"What happened?" Anya asked softly as she approached Kate, who was still fighting off the tremors of anxiety.

"I—" Kate began, unsure of her words or her shaky voice, trying like hell to remain strong despite the trembling in her chest.

A tear fell silently as Kate tried to compose herself to no avail. She never hoped for Anya to see her like this. The few other times it had happened had been immediately upon waking, when Kate was already in a vulnerable state. This was… too much.

"Hey hey…" Anya soothed softly, reaching out to Kate slowly and brushing her hair back.

Too much physical contact only made these situations worse. A little, just the right amount, could ease Kate back into a normal state of breathing. Anya brushed Kate's ear, her jawline, gently as she watched the woman's chest rise and fall far too quickly.

"It's okay, Kate. I'm here. I got you," Anya promised, shifting closer as Kate allowed and wrapping an arm around her waist.

"They saw my neck," Kate breathed, nearly inaudibly, as she remained frozen.

Anya slammed her eyes shut in guilt, feeling completely at fault for Kate's anxiety. It had been a couple days and she thought they were out of the woods. She knew that Kate was worried about anyone noticing; she didn't know just how worried.

"Baby, I'm so sorry…" Anya sniffed, brushing a tear away from Kate's cheek bone. "So, so sorry." The words poured out of her, the sincerity undeniable.

"No, I—" Kate rubbed her eyes roughly, trying to shake herself out of it. "Don't be sorry," she said, sitting up straight and feigning composure.

"I _never_ want you to be this upset, especially because of me. Of course I'm going to be sorry," Anya told her solemnly, pulling her closer.

Kate nuzzled her face into the crook of Anya's neck as she finally began to relax. She held her eyes shut tightly and took deep breaths of the woman's scent, attempting to regulate her breathing.

"I had a panic attack," Kate whispered, ashamed.

"I know, baby," Anya's heart broke at hearing Kate's embarrassment. "It's okay. You're okay."

"I just- I wasn't that upset about them seeing. Not consciously. I don't know why I…" she trailed off, sitting up straight again and willing the whole thing to be over.

"You were more upset about it than you realised," Anya told her with a soft smile, brushing her hair behind her ear. "Are you okay?" she asked, looking closely into the woman's eyes and seeing that that panic was finally leaving them.

Kate nodded slowly, a small smile appearing. "Thank you, for being here."

"There's nowhere else I'd be," Anya told her, entwining their fingers and nudging Kate's shoulder affectionately.

"If you wouldn't have showed up…" Kate wondered, "It's like you knew."

"I had a bad feeling, I guess. I hoped I was wrong," she shrugged, brushing the back of Kate's hand softly. "I was upstairs and I just felt like I should come see you."

"I'm glad you did. I've never calmed down that quickly, after," Kate admitted before standing and becoming stern. Work-Kate always showed up just a moment after Vulnerable-Kate realised that she was being vulnerable.

"I guess it's back to work time," Anya smiled with a light-hearted eye-roll, standing as well and stretching.

"I guess," Kate shrugged sheepishly, knowing that Anya was on to her tough act and actually allowed it- when Kate needed. "Thank you for coming by," she nodded, opening the office door and effectively bursting the bubble of comfort they had built.

"I'm glad you're feeling better," Anya told her, stepping into the hallway and resuming the professionalism that she shared with Kate at work.

Kate smiled, unable to fight the swell of her heart at Anya's sincerity.

"See ya later," Anya said casually, turning to walk away and return to the real world.

She had barely taken two steps when she heard the slight shuffle of a foot on the carpet behind her.

"Anya?" Kate called, causing the agent to turn around in question.

Kate took the step between them and placed her lips on Anya's, chaste, but firm and warm. Anya's initial shock was replaced with affection and the fullest happiness. When the brief kiss was over, both women were smiling with the buzz of adrenaline and the warmth between them.

"I'll see you tonight."


End file.
